Abraham: Hey, son, let’s take a walk.
Isaac: Cool, dad. I’m tired of driving everywhere, anyway.
Abraham: Great. Hey, grab that bag for me?
Isaac: Sure, dad. What’s in this thing?
Abraham: We call it “Awesomesauce,” son.
Isaac: Can I try some?
Abraham: Hahahahaha…No.
….
Trudge, trudge. Gulp. Trudge, trudge. Gulp.
….
more trudging, gulping.
….
Abraham: Ah, let’s rest here for a bit.
Isaac: Good idea, dad. You’re pretty much all over the trail.
Abraham: Don’t be a punk, smartass. Why don’t you go get me some wood?
Isaac: Why do you want some…
Abraham: DON’T ASK ME QUESTIONS, BITCH! GET THE DAMNED STICKS!
….
Rummage, rummage, rummage.
Elsewhere…swig, gulp, fart.
Carry, drop, sigh, rummage.
Isaac: Is that enough yet, pops?
Abraham: You stop when I tell you to stop, boy.
Isaac: {sigh}
Abraham: Don’t you sigh at me, boy! I’ll beat you so hard your momma loses teeth!
….
rummage, carry, drop, sigh, rummage.
swig, gulp, fart.
etc.
….
Isaac: Dad. There’s no more sticks within a three mile radius. Is that enough?
Abraham: Shit…thassalotta sticks, boy. What the hell ya doin?
Isaac: DAD! You TOLD me to get the sticks!
Abraham: Did not!
Isaac: Did too!
Abraham: Son, donchu be tellin me what I did and didn’t do.
Isaac: ….
Abraham: Go get th’goat, boy.
Isaac: What goat?
Abraham: Nebbermind. I’ll get th’goat. You stack up these sticks real nice for a fire.
Isaac: Gah. Yessir.
….
(sound of Abraham peeing somewhere not far off)
grumble, stack. grumble, stack. sigh. grumble.
enter Abraham, sans goat, scowling.
Isaac: What’s wrong, dad?
Abraham: Nuttin’.
Isaac: Aw, c’mon, dad…the goat get away?
Abraham: Yeah, that, an’ I’m outta booze.
Isaac: Outta what?
Abraham: Awesomesauce.
Isaac: Oh. So what’re we gonna do?
Abraham: Uh…I’m thinkin…nap-time.
Isaac: Sounds good to me, I’m tired after all this work!
Abraham: Stop yer ‘plainin, boy! Shaddup’n lay down on them there sticks.
Isaac: Do what?
Abraham: You go ahead and lay on th’sticks. Looks comfy. I’ll jist curl up over here….
Isaac: On the sticks? You’re serious?
Abraham: Yes, I’m serious.
Isaac: The sticks where we were gonna sacrifice the goat.
Abraham: Well….yeah.
Isaac: On the pile of flammable wood.
Abraham: Yes!
Isaac: Made for a sacrifice.
Abraham: YES!
Isaac: Where things….die.
Abraham: Get on the sticks, boy, and don’ gimme no more’f yer damn lip!
Isaac: {sigh}
….
shuffle. climb. {sigh}
….
time passes.
….
Abraham: You sleepin, boy?
….
Abraham: You ‘wake, boy?
….
Abraham: Dammit.
….
shuffle, shuffle.
….
Isaac: DAD! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT KNIFE?!?!?!
Abraham: Ummmm….
Isaac: HOLY SHIT, YOU FUCKIN DRUNK BASTARD!!!!
Abraham: Aw, I was just kiddin’, kiddo. C’mon….don’t be such a prick.
Isaac: Jesus, man.
Abraham: C’mon, git down. Let’s go home.
Isaac: Gahhhhhh…..
….
trudge, trudge, trudge.
….
Isaac: Dad?
Abraham: Yeah?
Isaac: You’re the best daddy ever!

~i suppose this means i’m going to hell or some shit. whatevs.